My cousin, Milton

Milton was a character. No paragraph or page can capture him. So the best I can do is say a few words about how he dealt with me, a cousin who’s almost young enough to be his son. In short, he treated me extraordinarily well. He treated me as family, as a friend, without any condescension or superiority due to age.

We never actually got to know each other until I was an adult. (If anyone is wondering how that could have happened given the disparity in ages and the fact that I live on the east coast, it is due to the fact that although my dad, Edwin, was Milton’s uncle, they grew up as boyhood friends. I got to know Milton because they stayed in touch.) He seemed to take a genuine interest in what I was doing professionally, and I responded by making it a point to visit if business travel brought me anywhere near the bay area. After that he almost seemed to look out for me. Once, when I delayed going home so I could visit over a weekend, he got me invited to a neighbor’s 75th birthday party that he and June were going to. He wasn’t going to let a little thing like a prior engagement keep him from taking care of family. The host might be a little inconvenienced given that the birthday party involved a catered sit-down dinner in the neighbor’s home, but Milton had firm convictions of what the right thing to do was. Those convictions may have been right – or maybe they weren’t – but he acted on them as he thought best. That resolve to follow through with what he thought was right is a keystone in his character.

Another example of his generosity in looking out for me comes to mind. I decided to take Kathy, my wife, and our two children to California for a two week tour. Naturally I contacted Milton to see if we could stop by. Before the conversation ended, he had me committed to flying in to San Francisco and then taking one of his cars for the entire time. We had a great time. (I have to add that as it turned out, his generosity in that case meant letting us take June’s Cadillac. It’s another example where someone else had to bend to give him room to be his generous self. Thank you, June.)

Although I could easily go on with anecdotes I’d rather close with one observation that sums up what I think made Milton very special. I guess the right word is passionate, but that word needs some explanation. When he developed an interest in something, he was a true enthusiast. When an idea caught his fancy, he really knew it and what he was talking about. When he took an interest in someone, he was loyal and generous – almost to a fault. He had needs. He needed the love and support of his family, particularly June; but God bless them, they gave him that love and support. And the product was a man who had an extraordinary enthusiasm for life and a willingness to share it.

I will miss him.

-- Joe Hartka